I daydream of the way things used to be a few decades ago – this is a confession of a hopeless romantic.
We grew up with the idea of love, only to hardly find it now. Or maybe I am in love with the idea of love. I used to read about love, watch movies about it, even write about it. I was so infatuated with the concept of finding your other half in this lifetime and the thought of never finding it left me heartbroken.
While growing up I slowly started to be let down by the high expectations I had. Or is hoping a boy would ask you out and actually be interested in what you have to say instead of your body a too high of an expectation?
I was so into the idea of loving someone and that someone loving me back. I wanted to share everything with that special other. I was lonely, but I learned to accept it. Life changes you and your experiences change you even more profoundly. But is romanticism over or is there still hope?
Our generation has been skipping coffee dates where you share thoughts and impressions without sharing a kiss.
People used to go to the cinema to see a movie with shy hand-holding, not inappropriate touching. Where is the get to know the other’s mind not get to know the other’s body?
I went on dates, as one casually does, had a glass of wine, had a laugh. All of this only to end the date on the worst possible note ever. He would look at me, and ask: “Do you want to come over?” accompanied by a creepy wink at the end. I was stunned, and I almost spilt the rest of my drink.
Another date, different drink, but a more serious conversation. We had just told the waitress to bring us the check. He looked at me and asked while reaching for my hand, “My place or yours?” Stunned, again. But this time I had finished my drink in time.
Did I use to have bad love karma? I did break a mirror when I was younger, and on top of that, I never redirected the threatening Yahoo! messages.
People used to meet through a friend of a friend, but now it’s all about dating apps and meaningless one night stands. Boys used to ask girls out and vice-versa, but now it’s all about hooking up.
People used to buy flowers and give compliments, but now it’s all about asking for pictures and describing the other as sexy instead of beautiful.
People used to cook romantic dinners, do the washing up after, but now it’s all about ordering fast food on UberEats and at the end of the night throwing out the empty carton boxes.
People used to send love letters to their partners, but now all we see are appreciation posts on social-media with #mancrushmonday or #womancrushwednesday and a bunch of heart-eyed emojis.
People used to smile at each other when passing by on the street, but now it’s all about smiling at a shiny screen.
When you are young and hormones are throwing a rave inside your body, you are at risk to make bad choices. I kissed some frogs, excuse the metaphor – and no offence if you are reading this, but I found my prince. Maybe the bad love karma finally wore off.
At the beginning of 2016 I got lucky and through a friend of a friend, I found a boy – and it was love at first sight.
We go on dates, he buys me flowers and calls me beautiful; he opens the door for me, spontaneously cooks and we have plans for the future. I feel like I am living a fairytale romance.
At the end of the day, I did find love and I believe it won’t go out of style to be romantic and say “I love you”.