RO: Este prima data cand ma deschid in scris in limba romana si ma simt expusa. Vulnerabila. Buna, ma numesc Irina si am 21 de ani. Din totdeauna am avut o pasiune pentru scris, dar mereu am recurs la limba engleza – ca un fel de mecanism de autoaparare in fata parerilor cititorilor. A fost nevoie de patru ani pentru a crea un spatiu al descarcarii creativitatii si al gandurilor, care sa poata fi impartasit online si nu doar pe o coala de hartie dintr-un jurnal ascuns undeva prin dormitor. Noroc cu facultatea care m-a “obligat” sa deschid un blog. Ce bine ar fi ca in viata sa fii obligat sa faci numai lucruri bune pentru tine si viitorul tau :).
Vreau sa incerc ceva nou, o apropiere de casa prin limba noastra care este atat de romantica…pentru ca dorul este inevitabil. Si imi este tare dor de apartamentul de la etajul zece, de Bucurestiul copilariei mele, de prieteni si de familie in principal. Am uitat sa mentionez ca locuiesc de trei ani in Londra, unde am studiat jurnalismul. Revenind, de acum inainte, voi publica si articole in limba romana care vor cuprinde o parte din sufletul meu pe care am impartasit-o doar cu putinele persoane apropiate, idei si ganduri care alearga liber prin mintea mea.
Azi este marti dupa-amiaza, o zi ploioasa de Septembrie, draperia este trasa in asa fel incat sa pot trage cu ochiul afara…sa vad daca printr-o minune a iesit soarele. Ma aflu intr-un moment de introspectie puternic si ma incearca un amalgam de sentimente cunoscute tuturor celor care au pasit pe drumul tintit spre succes, fie el pe plan personal sau profesional.
Am terminat facultatea, trei dintre cei mai frumosi ani de pana acum, care au fost indulciti cu amintiri de neuitat si condimentati cu provocari si obstacole. Am invatat multe despre mine ca persoana in acesti trei ani. Am o diploma care atesta cunostintele si aptitudinile mele pe plan profesional, abilitati de comunicare dezvoltate, experienta de munca si o atitudine pozitiva, in majoritatea timpului. Atunci de ce ma simt confuza in legatura cu viitorul si ma intreb constant care sunt urmatorii pasi corecti spre a-mi realiza obiectivele? Pentru ca am o teama de esec…
Imi aduc aminte de o conversatie cruciala din primavara ultimului an de liceu, pe cand inca locuiam in Bucuresti si incercam sa aleg facultatea la care urma sa studiez. Am avut un interviu video, pe Skype, cu profesorul universitar care se ocupa de admiterea aplicantilor in universitatea Westminster. De la o idee la alta, am ajuns sa ii destainui frica mea de esec, iar el m-a facut sa inteleg ca este ceva total normal. Si ca fiecare dintre noi avem in adancul sufletului frica de a esua in viata personala, in relatii interpersonale sau in cariera. Important este sa inveti din acele greseli si sa incerci pe cat posibil sa nu le repeti. Trebuie sa vedem partea plina a paharului in orice situatie si sa ne focusam pe pozitiv, in loc de negativ. Daca vom proceda asa, perspectiva ni se va schimba si vom creste din experientele mai putin placute pe care ni le aduce viata. Ideal ar fi sa nu ne grabim in luarea deciziilor si sa avem incredere in decursul natural al vietii. Si in destin.
Daca si tu te aflii intr-un moment de rascruce, adu-ti aminte ca nu esti singur/a si transforma teama de esec intr-un exercitiu de imaginatie. Analizeaza ambele scenarii si inventeaza un plan nou de atac. Nu lasa teama de esec sa te dezarmeze si nu renunta la obiectivele tale. Gaseste solutii si mergi in continuare pe drumul spre succes. Vei ajunge acolo intr-o zi. Cel putin asa voi proceda eu…sper ca si tu.
EN: I want to try something new, a way of getting closer to my home through writing in our language, which is so romantic…because missing home is inevitable. And I miss the apartment on the tenth floor, the Bucharest of my childhood memories, my friends and family, so much. I forgot to mention that I have been living in London for the past three years, where I studied Journalism. Anyway, from now on, I will also publish blog posts in Romanian, which will capture a part of my soul that I only shared with the few close people in my life – ideas and thoughts, which run freely through my mind.
Today is Tuesday afternoon, a rainy September day, the curtains are closed in a way that I could still peak outside…to see if the sun miraculously came out. I find myself in a strong moment of introspection and under a bundle of feelings, which are familiar to anyone who has stepped on the road towards success, be it personal or professional.
I have finished university, three of the most beautiful years of my life, which were sweetened with unforgettable memories and flavoured with challenges and obstacles. I have learnt a lot about myself as a person in these three years. I have a diploma, which is a testament to my knowledge and my professional aptitudes, highly-developed communication skills, work experience and a positive attitude, most of the time. Then, why am I feeling so confused about the future and I constantly ask myself about the right steps towards achieving my goals? Because I have a fear of failure…
I can remember a crucial conversation I had in the spring of my last year of high school when I was still living in Bucharest and was trying to choose the university I was about to study. I had an interview on Skype with the Journalism department’s admissions officer at Westminster University. After exchanging ideas and impressions, I confessed to him my fear of failure and he made me understand that it is extremely normal. Each of us has within the fear of failing in our personal lives, relationships or careers. It is important to learn from those mistakes and try, as much as possible, to not repeat them. We have to see the glass half-full in each situation and focus on the positive rather than on the negative. If we act this way, our perspectives will change and we will grow from the less pleasant experiences that life brings us. It would be ideal to not rush into reaching decisions and to trust the natural course of life. And destiny.
If you find yourself in a critical moment as well, remember that you are not alone and try to turn the fear of failure into an exercise. Analyse both scenarios and come up with a new plan. Do not let the fear of failure to break you down and do not give up on your goals. Find solutions and keep walking on the path towards success. You will get there one day. At least this is how I will deal with the fear of failure…and I hope you will too.
Irina Iacob 